The Burden of Command

Your humble scribe is pleased to announce that last night, at the Annual General Meeting of the Mississauga Arts Council, he was designated as the new President and Chair of the Board. Technically, the official appointment will take place at our next Board meeting this coming Tuesday with the election of executive officers, but as I was VP, and the President retired yesterday, and no-one else (ominously perhaps) has indicated interest, I assume responsibilities, such as they are, in the interim, or interregnum.

Lamentably, I have not been able to convince anyone that it is their duty to take a bullet for me. I have begun to refer to my car as Pontiac One.

This is MAC's 25th year, and it should be a noteworthy one. The creation of a new Arts Volunteer of the Year Award named for my predecessor Bev Ryan was announced last night as well. Look for its first presentation this October at our annual Mississauga Arts Awards.

For those of you not intimately familiar with the arts in Mississauga, we are dealing with the ramifications of a report tabled by a special taskforce appointed by Mayor Hazel McCallion to review the scope of the city's arts funding and responsibilities. Heady stuff indeed - details can be found on MAC's website linked from this page. We're happy with the end result, but not everyone is, particularly some political heavy hitters. Further updates as events warrant.

Suffice to say for now that I'm wearing something of a bullseye.

In The Beginning

Welcome, soon to be faithful readers, to this my Nine Inch Column. The more salacious among you may jump to conclusions about the name of this virtual document, but rest assured, no such vulgarities are intended. Rather, my small, seven year old computer monitor measures at roughly nine vertical inches of screen space. But that is certainly enough space to do what I need to do: entertain you. After all, it's not the size that matters, but how you use it.

I do a myriad of things in my professional and semi-professional life, but I also write occasionally. I am currently some 410 pages into my first novel (writing, that is, not reading), but before I began that project, I wrote (and continue to write) short humour. Several of these have found their way to websites you may know. The first piece I had published online was at The Big Jewel. It was not the first piece I submitted to them, but after a series of correspondence between your humble scribe and their editor Kurt Luchs worthy of Vincent and Theo Van Gogh, it was this piece that was finally selected. So, for your enjoyment I offer The Death Of Irony. Next came Time Travel For Fun And Profit, and then a move to the venerable McSweeney's, with a look at a typical campus activity board.

From there I found a regular home at the now defunct Facsimilation.com (and I hope editor Shawn Samac is doing well, whatever it is he's doing these days). There was discussion of a print version of Facsimilation, but it came to naught. Too bad, too - there were some good writers there. I may republish some of my work that appeared there at a later date.

By no means is this the complete Thornton canon, but an old adage in show business says, "always leave them wanting more." So be patient, dear readers. I am developing a new site to showcase some of my short humour work, and the work of other talented Canadian writers. I have enlisted some technical help, to offset my own severe technological shortcomings, and it should be up and running soon. Naturally, you'll be the first to know, as I know you'll be among our biggest supporters.

What I can share with you now is an idea: ShoHu. Short Humour. Remember that you heard it here first. There are any number of sites dedicated to this art form, but before now there has not been an appropriate abbreviation. Think CanLit, sitcom, sci-fi, that sort of thing. Handy, isn't it? Trust me - get in on the ground floor now.