Stop And Smell The Trilliums

Trillium grandiflorum - that's the taxonomic name of the white trillium, the official flower of the Ontario and the inspiration for the provincial government's official logo since 1964.

The present Liberal government recently commissioned a new logo, a new version of the Trillium. It is, in a word, pointy. Opposition leaders John Tory and Howard Hampton would lead you to believe that Dalton McGuinty personally orchestrated a partisan conspiracy to defraud taxpayers out of $219,00 and foist some kind of Satanic pentagram on them and their Health Cards. The Tories have even launched a new website - Save The Trillium - to decry this affront. I am loathe to aid their political cause, but the site does offer us such inspirational nuggets as:

"Ontario's trillium has long been the symbol of hope and opportunity for all,"

and,

"The white blossom of the trillium is associated with peace and hope. Since 1964, the trillium has also served as the official logo for the government of Ontario. Over the ensuing four decades the trillium has become a universal symbol and seal for governments of all three major political parties. While an indelible part of our natural heritage, the trillium's future remains a considerable source of concern. Trilliums take over 15 years to mature, and quickly die should their distinctive three leaves (their only food source) get picked. Many jurisdictions have passed laws preventing the picking of trilliums, and the preservation of this flower, and all it stands for, remains a laudable goal of conservation minded Ontarians province wide. "

Isn't that sweet?

But what about the logo itself, faithful readers? The thing is, I don't particularly like either of them, old or new. The older versions of the logo are clearly dated, but the new logo (with it's nifty little people with outstretched arms - that's us, get it?) will probably date itself even faster. Forced to choose, I think I'd go for the retro, mid-2oth century, early space-age charm of the old logo.

For the time being, if trilliums are no longer doing the trick, might I suggest the Nine Inch Column could be the symbol of hope and opportunity for all?

Monday ShoHu

It's Monday and that means there's a new piece of ShoHu at ShoHu.ca. This week we have a little fun with Monsieur Rene Descartes. But, since he's been dead some 356 years, I suspect he won't have much to say about it.

Watch Where You Are Going

Your humble scribe spent the morning behind a podium, faithful readers, emceeing a breakfast for sponsors, members, and friends of the Mississauga Arts Council. It was the formal kick-off for MAC's 25th anniversary.

The semi-annual breakfast event was held at the Novotel Hotel Mississauga, where it has been held for some years. Usually we are in the second floor "Paris" Room. This fact has some relevance for what is to follow. Today, however, we were accommodated in the lower level "Amsterdam" Room. How worldly.

Some of our guests, accustomed to attending these breakfasts on the second floor, went there out of habit, got their food, took their seats and then discovered that they were not at the Mississauga Arts Council event, but rather the introductory breakfast for the, ahem, International Ferret Congress' Ferret Aid 2006. To be fair, some of the ferret people (is that the politically correct term?) wandered into our soiree as well.

So, what goes on at an International Ferret Congress you ask? The published schedule includes presentations on such diverse issues as "DIM, The Ferret Mystery Killer", "The Human/Animal Bond & Ferrets in the UK"; "Aleutians Disease Virus & the use of Melatonin Implants" as well as discussions on nutrition and cruelty.

BUT, the piece de resistance, available only to those who registered in advance and made an additional $40 donation (beyond the $240 3-day pass), is the Ferret Couture Fashion Show!! (editor's note: Use of the double exclamation point reflects the opinons of the ferret people's web designer(s) and not necessarily those of the Nine Inch Column).

Who knew that such things went on in the Paris Room?

Timber

If it's Monday, faithful readers, it must be ShoHu. This week's offering explores some healthy father hero worship, just in time for Father's Day next week. Have you found a gift yet? Maybe a bottle of Hai Karate?

In other news, the southern view from your humble scribe's front yard was improved dramatically at 7:30 am this morning with the demolition of the 'Four Sisters' smokestacks at the Lakeview Generating Station. Finally, nothing between me and Buffalo.

Let Me Axe You This

It was revealed today, faithful readers, that the suspected terrorists arrested over the weekend wanted to blow up the CBC (I imagine for letting their Olympic broadcast rights and Brian Williams slip away) and then attack Parliament and BEHEAD Stephen Harper.

I mean, we've all heard the stories - that Stephen Harper eats babies - but beheading? That's a little extreme, and counter-productive, I might add, in a minority government. If you're trying to get the Conservative government to meet your jihadist demands, the last thing you want is a smaller caucus.

Yes, I know I just wrote 'smaller caucus.' It's okay. I can do anything I want with my Nine Inch Column. However, I will refrain from offering alternative candidates for decapitation, lest CSIS or the RCMP or the CIA or the NSA or whomever adds me to some watchlist and I end up rerouted to some black site prison in Latvia or Cuba next time I try to fly to Vegas.

I will instead offer my favourite quote about Pierre Trudeau, from the late Canadian poet Irving Layton:

"In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination."

And I think most people would agree that Stephen Harper is no Pierre Trudeau.

Finally, your humble scribe's thoughts turn to Paul Martin. Does an involuntary retirement become more or less palatable when one discovers you are/are not/could have been targeted for beheading by radical terrorists. Does one think, "Whew, that could have been me," or "What am I, chopped liver?"

Tempus Fugit

It's June, faithful readers. Where does the time go? Naturally, each new week brings new ShoHu, so be sure to take a visit.

Time moves forward, too, in the Liberal leadership campaign. Joe Volpe today tapdanced around the acceptance, defence, return and recanting of some $27,000 in campaign donations from children under 18 - including three children of pharmaceutical company executives, who live evidently in what I like to call Big Pharma's House. Mr. Volpe, backpedaling, now states that donations should be restricted to adults only. Your humble scribe cries "Smokescreen" on this one. Would the effect have been any different if the parents funneled donations through 18-year-olds? No. What if they'd used other people's kids instead of their own? Nope. Same difference. If a candidate is vulnerable to influence from a major lobbying group, that group will find a way to get the money where it needs to be. The issue here is electoral independence, not age limits on donors.

Time is an issue too on Parliamant Hill. Stephen Harper's government is trying to set fixed election times, every four years like they do in the U.S. Apparently this will make things more fair and predictable, so Canadians won't be surprised, confused, or terrified.

"I woke up this morning and there was a sign on my lawn. I'm surprised, confused, and terrified."

See, now minority governments can be taken down. So, let's say you're a Prime Minister who has told everyone when an election will be called, say 30 days after the release of a major report on a government scandal. Fair warning. Nobody's surprised, confused, or terrified. But then, some folks decide to surprise, confuse, and terrify Canadians by voting non-confidence. Have you seen the ruckus they make when they do that? Throwing papers in the air and yelling?

Well, now, since elections will only be held every fourth October, that won't happen, unless the majority opposition decides to vote non-confidence, because that part of the constitution can't be changed. Nor can the part that says the PM can still ask the Governor General to dissolve Parliament any time he wants to. So, this would be more of a guideline, would it? The words toothless, disingenuous, and self-serving come to mind.

I don't mind the proposed Senate reform - 8 year terms instead of appointments until age 75. As long as they remain unelected and get to keep their pensions.